Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Everland/Other Updates

I AM SO TIRED.

Yep, definitely feels like I'm teaching again.  I've said it before, but teaching really does exhaust you in a way that nothing else does.  Add in the constant confusion and lack of understanding of what is going on, and it takes the whole teaching thing to a new level.

These past few weeks have been ridiculously busy.  When I think about the fact that I haven't even been in Korea for a month yet, it totally blows my mind. I feel like I'm still living in a fog of emotions/experiences.

My first week of teaching went pretty well.  I did an introduction lesson in every class with information about where I'm from, what I like to do, and a little information about my family.  The students really enjoyed seeing photos, and I loved seeing their reactions to everything (they thought my dad was really handsome and they thought any boy in a picture with me was my boyfriend).  I also enjoyed their questions--the first question was always to ask if I had a boyfriend.  Several classes asked if I would date their teacher (my co-teacher, who was always in the room when they asked....nothing like making things awkward!)  My favorite question was probably when one girl asked how I am so slim when so many Americans are fat.  Classic.

I still need to take pictures of my school and explain how the school system works here in Korea.  It's coming, I promise.

This past weekend I had a few visitors, which was nice, even though I am a terrible tour guide at this point since I really don't know anything about this city yet!  I have some major learning to do!

Monday was our school trip to Everland.  Well, only the first graders went there--the second grade went somewhere else, and the third graders are too busy studying for their college entrance exam, so they didn't go anywhere.

I got to school around 7:30 AM, and I was glad to see that one of the other English teachers I met back at the first staff dinners would be the other teacher on my bus (and by default, responsible for spending the day with me).  She is really young and speaks English really well, so I was relieved to know that that would at least make the day easier.

We were probably only on the bus for around 30 minutes before we stopped at a rest stop.  Korean rest stops are far superior to US rest stops, by the way.  I wanted to take pictures, but I didn't know if that would make me look totally weird...I'm not quite in that comfort zone to be THAT American yet..

We all got coffee (that the school paid for), and got back on the road.  About an hour later we arrived at Everland.  Everland is an amusement park, kind of like the Disneyland of Korea.  The kids went their separate ways and we started to walk around the park. We checked out a lot of the animal related stuff--they have some really cool safari bus rides that you can do that bring you REALLY close to a lot of the animals.



After a while, we stopped by a drink stand and as I pulled out money for my drink, the other teacher told me that "No, the school will pay! Anything you want...it's free!"  Not such a bad deal.

We spent a lot of time walking around because my other teacher friend doesn't like rides.  There were some cool roller coasters I wanted to go on, but I obviously wasn't going to go ditch her to go on them...oh well, maybe another time!

Our day was nice, but one of my favorite parts of the day was seeing the students having FUN and being kids.  There kids are ALWAYS at school.  In fact, they are still at school as I write this.  It blows my mind.  I am so glad that for at least one day, they got to enjoy themselves.

We left Everland around 4:30.  We stopped again on the way home  (apparently a 2 hour bus ride is just too long to do without stopping?), and by the time we got home I was EXHAUSTED.  Of course, when we got back I was informed that the teachers were going to a restaurant for dinner.  All I really wanted to do was go home, but it's not good to pass up those opportunities, so all headed over to a local restaurant for some food.  Finally, I was home and completely wiped. (it was probably 8:30 by that point). But I had to finish preparing a few things for my classes the next day--the last thing you want to do after a long day.

School yesterday was crazy stressful, but you can read more about that in my last post.

Today I reached a somewhat new level of school related stress.

I have always been a perfectionist--when I was a student I would stay up ridiculously late studying for tests, to the point where my parents would tell me to go to bed because sleeping was more important than school.  Of course, I always ignored them, because not doing well was just never an option in my mind.

As I have gotten older, I have relaxed in many ways, but I cannot shake my need to feel like I am being successful in what I'm doing.  It's one of the things that makes teaching very difficult for me--there are so many challenges, and it takes a long time and a lot of practice to really be a good teacher.  When I was teaching in America, I always knew there were so many things I could do better, but when I was feeling like a complete failure I had a huge support network of people who understood how I felt.

Jumping into teaching here has been really challenging, in large part because I don't really know what is expected of me or how I am supposed to teach.  Teaching English is completely different from teaching at home where I at least know what the curriculum is and the general accepted methods of teaching.

Only one of my classes here has a textbook, and it's really just a random assortment of English phrases.  There is absolutely no coherent theme within the units.  I've been getting mixed messages about how I should be teaching, and it's making it really hard for me to plan anything that I feel ok with.

After one of my lessons today, one of my co-teachers was telling me that some of the kids that are shy were getting discouraged because I didn't call on them to answer a question, and she told me I should call on the shy kids more.

Ok, I absolutely would.  Except it is only my second time seeing these kids (and I have SO MANY STUDENTS!), so I really don't know which kids are the shy students yet.  It's little things like that that can make it really frustrating for me to feel like I am being even somewhat successful.

That conversation made me feel really guilty, and the stress of school had me missing home in a big way today.  Of course, right when I was at lunch trying to keep myself together, one of the teachers asked me about how I keep in touch with my parents--not the best timing for a question like that, when I was already trying really hard not to think about home.  Let's just say I was very ready to be done with lunch today.

Anyone who has ever taught knows that it often takes a few times to get a lesson to the point where it's really any good.  I am having to try so many new things, and sometimes things aren't working.  This is a normal part of teaching, but I like I am really under the microscope, which makes me feel like if a lesson doesn't work out, I'm a bad teacher.

Please don't take this the wrong way--everyone at school is still extremely nice to me, but I can't seem to shake my inner perfectionist.

Also, don't take my rants to mean that I don't like teaching here.  I absolutely love my students.  They make my day, everyday.  And anyone who has ever taught knows that that alone is why you teach--it's the students that make it worth it.



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